Hello, everyone! I apologize AGAIN for the lack of posts. I haven’t forgotten.
Lots of things are going on, and I cant help but feel completely overwhelmed and utterly helpless. Maybe this is how ‘adult life’ is…I don’t know.
I always have problems this time of year with my depression, especially around the time change and for some reason Christmas. I don’t know why Christmas makes me want to cry, but it does. Probably stress, but who knows. I already take medicine for my depression. I exercise. I take my vitamins. What am I not doing?
One of the things going on is of course work. Black Friday is next week. SO much still has to be done, and I’m afraid that I can’t do it all. I have different people calling out of work more than one day a week. There were two days back to back that 2 people called out. I’ve stayed late to try to get everything done…I worked 11 hours Wednesday, and I still feel like I have so much left to finish. A ton of thoughts are running through my head. What if I don’t have enough product? What if someone calls out Thursday, Friday, or Saturday? What will I do?
The other thing that’s really weighing on me is health insurance. Woohoo! Anyone like dealing with insurance? Didn’t think so. I’ve had so many issues with healthcare–from verifying my identity (supposedly I don’t exist) to finding insurance my doctor takes. When I got promoted, and remember this is a tiny, tiny raise, my monthly premium more than doubled, and my deductible more than doubled even though I’d already met the previous amount. Now the insurance plan I have is going to be over $220 a month starting in January. I can’t pay it. I don’t have the room in my budget. I can’t go through and try to buy insurance outside of healthcare.gov because I definitely can’t afford it. We’re talking $600 a month. Yes…$600 a month for health insurance. Why so high? I had an eating disorder–that I’m recovered from–when I was in high school; I have depression; and I have health problems (not terrible) related to my previous eating disorder. That estimate isn’t going to get any better–ever. It doesn’t matter that I’m recovered..it’s the fact I had it.
So, yeah, I just needed to vent. I don’t like to cry, especially in front of others, but it can be the best thing for someone to do. I keep on keeping on and throwing my all into everything I do because I know I can do it and get through whatever I’m feeling. Maybe anyone who reads this will realize life isn’t easy and that they aren’t the only ones feeling overwhelmed. The only advice I can give is to hold on tight, acknowledge your feelings for what they are (however unpleasant they may be), and realize that you aren’t alone. We all have the same feelings at some time or another because we are all human.
I’ll be back next week..promise..I have this next weekend off, so I’ll have a little more time to write 🙂
Until next time,
Hello, all! I know I’ve been missing posts for the past few weeks, so I thought I’d give you some insight into what has been going on in my life. Warning: I’m venting in part of this.
Most of what is keeping me way from regularly posting has to do with work. Starbucks…you probably think it’s a fairly easy job, but it’s not. Not when you’re the team lead of 11 female baristas. I average around 40 hours a week, but I swear it feels like a lot more than 40. I’ve been having some problems with a few of the girls causing drama and saying I don’t do anything. 2 things I absolutely HATE: drama and lying. All of us on this team are old enough to know that these two things get no one anywhere and are bad for all people involved. Being in the retail world, there are a lot of things we have to do that we may not want to do. For example, working weekends. This seems to be a source of the problems occurring, but like I said, it’s retail and you most likely have to work. I only get every other weekend off because of my position, otherwise I’d be there every single weekend, too. Part of the problem is that some of the girls are new, and they aren’t comfortable closing or opening. How can I fix it if I don’t get them use to closing without one of the trainers if I don’t schedule them as closers and openers? I can’t. There have been more than enough training shifts for them to learn the routine. The drama comes in when they refuse to say anything to me. How do I try to go about fixing something if they don’t say anything or if they jump over me and go to someone else? I can’t. I do a lot of things, but if they aren’t talking then I can’t help with the situation. I’ve also been hearing that I don’t do anything from them. I don’t do anything?? If I don’t do anything then why is it that I have absolutely no energy when I come home? How is it that I have no time for anything else? I do the schedule, handle emails, pull sales numbers, analyze business trends, order supplies, do the impossible set ups each season, set up and keep track of the communication log, stay on top of my game behind the bar, check for dates that get missed, order pastries and pull them to the front when they come in, build endcaps, haul 40-50 pound boxes to top shelves, etc. I don’t see that as doing nothing. Maybe it’s because they don’t see me doing it; I don’t know. What I DO know is that I try my hardest to make everything as easy on my team as I possibly can even if it means I make it harder on myself. Most of the time I feel like even with all of the stuff I do, that it’s not enough. I have people telling me it’s more than enough. If it is, then why is my team having these issues? Believe me, I’ve talked with them and asked but to no avail.
I want to create things, but I’m so tired when I get home from all of the previously mentioned things, all I want to do is either rest or sleep. My body screams that it’s tired but I keep going. My sleep is quite restless, so that makes it harder. I like my job, but the drama situation is really pulling my energy.
OK. Vent over. On to happier things that have been going on 🙂
I’ve been doing some house decorating. It’s just curtains but it’s still fun..haha.
We also had a Halloween party that we hosted at our house. I made a lot of the decorations and a majority of the food. (See! I got to create some things and felt great!) Let me show you some pictures!
I didn’t make these but aren’t they stinkin’ cute????
I made a wreath that can be used for Halloween or Thanksgiving since the bat is removable! It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to make a wreath, and I’m so proud of this one!! (Nevermind the ugly wallpaper)
Here is one side of the table that features a meat head platter (Thank you Pinterest!!) There is also beer bread, too. (You can check that post out here)
This is what you see when you walk into the kitchen. That table skirt, yep, I made it. I really love the colors. I didn’t want to stick with black and orange completely, so I threw in some different ones. I made the trail mix on the table (recipe here)—I have to say it’s awesome in my opinion but I’m biased. And the grand finale–the Jell-O shot syringes (recipe here)
That’s been about all that’s been going on in my life recently. So mainly, it’s been work related stuff keeping me from posting every week. I’m hoping after Black Friday that I can get back to my regularly scheduled posts. Oops, forgot to mention that I did do some jewelry repairs and redos so keep an eye out on instagram from those!
Until next time,